The New Blog Is Live!!

I can safely say that I've discovered some things about my creative process over the last few months. I'm not sure I like everything I've discovered but I'm accepting myself for who I am. Or at least I'm trying.

I posted ages ago that I was needing to update/change my blog to be something more unified and holistic. Holistic seems to be a new theme in my life which I'm excited about but I'll write more about that later. For now, I'm announcing the new blog......myinspiredlife.me.

One of the things that I discovered about myself while creating the new blog was that at first I'm vocal and I announce what I'm going to do. I tell people that I'm about to take on a new project. Then, I begin. Everything seems to go well for a while and I'm excited. That's when things take a bit of a turn. I find that what happens next is that I become overwhelmed. I realize that I have a HUGE project in front of me  and that I'm not even sure I'm totally equipped to handle it on my own. This time the project was creating a Worpress site based off of a theme that was provided and somehow was needing to transform into something that was my own. I didn't have the resources to outsource my design so this task was up to me. Thankfully my version of Wordpress was upgraded to the latest version available which made things easier for sure. (Thank you Garrett!!)

Mason's classroom received a new pet while all of this was going on, butterflies. They started out as caterpillars and slowly moved into the state of a chrysalis by anchoring itself to the top of the container. I felt exactly like this. Like I had moved slowly through this process only to anchor myself down in my overwhelmed state to do nothing but think about how overwhelmed I was. I talked about it more than anything else and Matt, I'm sorry for the incessant chatter. But, after sitting, thinking, being with the feelings of "how am I ever going to do this", I emerged on the other side.

Naming the blog was the most debilitating part of the process. I think that names are important, that they set up the mood, the feeling, the way that people will initially respond. I think names can make or break something. I wanted to bring everything together that felt like me, my family, my businesses, my passion for food and for healing the body. I tried a variety of different names on and even own a couple url's that I'm not going to use. "psychictears.com"(Christine this could be yours), "reflectivecircles.com" and "miafinestra.com" (my window in Italian. Marco, I think this may need to be your new blog address ;-)"

And then, one morning after I don't know how long, I woke up from a dream with the name "my inspired life". I thought for sure it wouldn't be available as a url so I didn't even look it up right away. I tossed it by Matt who actually liked it, unlike the countless other names I had tossed out before so I plugged it in and amazingly enough, it was mine.

So now, after all of this time of silence and growing pains I'm emerging with a new look and new feel and an integrated holistic site that feels like me. Kind of like that caterpillar emerging with wings on the other side. I won't be so daring to say this site is anywhere as beautiful as one of God's creations but it feels pretty good.

I hope that if you're a follower here, you'll update your settings to link to the new site and if you're not a follower and you've just stumbled across this page, please find me at my new address and stay a while.

I do want to say thank you to everyone who reads these posts. It's been a wonderful journey into a deeper part of myself, allowing there to be an outward expression of my thoughts and feelings. And now, with my new blog, there will be even more to say, express and share.

See you there!

Wishing You a Happy New Year!

This year has begun and is already moving fast. We're a week into January and the list of things to do is long. Taxes need to be worked on, personal projects are piling up but I'm feeling up for all of it. I'm trying to stand in that place of gratitude more and more. A place of softness and love. I'm trying to be easier on my kids, my husband, myself. I'm trying to stand in the space of realizing that I can do all of these things because I'm healthy and have the ability to do them. There are so many people in the world that don't have that ability for whatever reason. I do, and squandering it or complaining about it isn't going to do me or anyone else any good!

I just wanted to take a moment to wish everyone a Happy New Year and I hope that you can find a way to stand in the space of gratitude with me. I understand that for some it may take some work and for some it may be hard to find something to be grateful for but I know that each and every one of us can find at least one thing to be grateful for.

This photo was  a total gift and unexpected moment. We were hiking with friends on New Year's Day and Rick, who is an amazing photographer, turned around and said that Matt had found a great spot for a portrait and to pile the family into this tree and smile. I was so wanting to have a family portrait taken, especially after photographing so many families at the end of the year.

Rick, thank you SO much for capturing my boys and I. I just love the photographs. A person can never have too many photographs if you ask me. They're what stay with us, reminding us of who we were, what we looked like, where we spent our time, of each other.

Happy New Year everyone! May the year bring you everything you hope for and more.

A Little Longer Than I Hoped

Well, I was trying to make a clear break from this blog address to the new one in 2012. But, it's just not happening. I can't seem to make the new blog look the way I want, feel the way I want so. for now, I'm sticking to this one.

For now, I'll say that I feel a little like this rocket. When we were in Tahoe for New Year's Rick and family had a rocket that said it would fly "100 feet in the air guaranteed!". There were 4 boys ready to witness this amazing feet and high hopes from the parents. Well, I don't have a shot of it soaring through the air because it pretty much was a dud. We anticipated a super fun flight and wound up with a puddle on the ground and a disappointed group of adults. I'm not sure the boys were that bothered by the whole incident. The beach was right there and climbing rocks and digging in the sand seemed to make up for any splashed hopes.

When I finally do switch over, I promise you'll be the first to know!

2011 - The Year Reflected

2011 is coming to a close. Sometimes it feels like an arbitrary thing that we're supposed to do at the end of the year. Stop and reflect upon our last year of life. Think about what we've done, what we want to do and how we want to change for the future. I guess it's a good thing. Kind of like going to sleep every night on a grand scale. There are definitely nights, many in fact, that I go to sleep thankful and hopeful for the next day. For the next day to be better, for me to be kinder, more forgiving, more gentle. On the larger scale, the new year is a time for letting go of the past, creating new goals, new aspirations and new beginnings.

I think that this year, which has been filled with so much, gratitude is where I land. That is what I want to share for my end-of-the-year snapshot. Gratitude.

I am grateful for my breath. For being able to breath deeply at every moment of my day. I am grateful for my sight and my hearing and my voice. I am grateful for the movement of my body. To be able to wrap my arms around my children, to hear them tell me "I love you". I am grateful for the sound of my husbands breath as he sleeps next to me at night. For the warmth of his body and his being with me each day.

I am grateful to have had time spent with my mother before she died. To have her live here with us, so that she was able to share time with the boys. I am grateful to have photographed all of it. To have images as memories for myself and for them.

I am grateful for my sister and for her family. For her being there with my mom when she died. For her being here still, to laugh with and share our life experiences. There is nothing like a sister for those times. I am grateful that we share a similar sense of humor and the memories of our parents.

I am grateful for my extended family. I now have parents and grandparents and many brothers and sisters  and I love them all deeply. Even extended aunts and uncles and cousins. It's pretty amazing and special to have married into such a wonderful group of people. I am truly grateful for that and for each and every one of them. In the face of losing my mother this extended family was there in complete support, in many different ways, all meaningful and deeply appreciated.

I am grateful for my business FMN Design and the lessons that owning that business has taught and continues to teach me. I am grateful for all of the wonderful brides and grooms I have met and designed beautiful books for as well as the photographers that I have worked with over this past year.

I am grateful for the launch of September-Days and the joy that taking photographs has brought to my life. I had the pleasure of photographing over a dozen families in this last three months of the year. Each family was unique and fun and different. And thanks to my amazing husband who is a brilliant location scout, each family was photographed at a different place. Amazing.

I am grateful for my friends, new and old. They keep me real and honest and what I love most is that they love me for me, allowing me to be who I am, which is a gift.

I am grateful for real, whole food. We are what we eat and I appreciate having access to and the ability to provide organic, whole food for myself and my family. We all feel the difference.

I am grateful for this life. Each day.

My ability to learn and grow and change.

My ability to love, deeply.

I will end with some photographs from over this past year. Just a gathering of images that sum everything up. I tried to pull something from each month or at least close to that. I'm not at home and I have what I have and breath while I put this out into the world. Not perfect, not completely buttoned up the way I would like, the way that at one point in my life would have stopped me from hitting "publish". But today, I know that even this, not my best, not my perfect self is something worth sharing. 

I hope everyone has a safe and peaceful New Year's Eve and that this transition brings joy and prosperity.

Mason had a Star Wars party that was outstanding.

Both boys played on the Dixie Soccer team this year and had a blast.

We hosted a soccer coach, Coach Daniel, which was an amazing experience. We miss you Daniel and wish you a Happy New Year!!!!

Matt and I attended the most amazing car show ever hosted by Kelly and Steve Finn and Matt and I had a wonderful vacation in Lassen with our close friends whom we love.

We hosted both Easter and Thanksgiving at our home.

 

I was able to create something with my hands which I haven't done for a while which was rewarding and beautiful.

We went to Stinson for an incredible break from the world.

We had a vacation in Michigan which was revitalizing.

We went to Kauai which was a bitter sweet trip but beautiful all the same.

 Miles had his first girlfriend.

The boys discovered their primal side.

My mother's life ended.

The Benson's

Back in 2008 I designed an album via FMN Design for a couple whom Matt and Garrett had photographed their wedding. The album, which you can see a few spreads here,  turned out beautiful and was a horizontal layout which I love.

Then in 2009 they asked me to take photos of their daughter Mila. She was absolutely adorable. I have a few images from that shoot on the September-Days website. She was just too cute!

When I sent out the information about the launch of September-Days I included Sara and Matt. They called me not long after to schedule a shoot because Mila was now three! and had a baby sister Flora. I spent my last Saturday morning with them and had the best time. I showed up at 7:15 am so I was there for the morning routine. Waking up, hanging out for a bit in p.j's, eating breakfast. I photographed the girls during this time which was so sweet. I love thinking about them being older, looking back at these images. They'll be able to see and remember their home, their toys, their everyday life.

The photo shoot wasn't about being dressed in the perfect outfit or the girls being on their best behavior. It was about a moment in time, preserved forever through photographs.

I thought it would be fun, before I share my favorites of the morning, to post a "then and now" image. Mila's eyes haven't changed too much over the years. They're still as big and beautiful as they were when she was a baby. I'll post other pictures in the next few days if I don't get swallowed by pre-holiday chaos and cheer!

For now....

Mila then...

Mila now...

Making A Change

I've been considering making a change. To my blog. To the name specifically. I haven't felt like the name "FMN Design" has fit for some time. Mainly because I don't find myself sharing about the albums I'm making or anything that relates to FMN Design very often. I'm not sure why this is but it's true.

I've been wanting to have the name of this blog feel more like me. More like all of me. I want to feel like I can share about anything and everything. I guess I pretty much do that already, but what I want is to share about FMN Design, my photography, food, being gluten free and dairy free. I want to share about my life. My whole life.

Under the title "FMN Design" I've struggled with what to put out into the world. I don't feel like struggling anymore. Isn't funny how a name can do that? It's just a name but somehow, it means so much.

I remember naming our children. We poured through baby name books, we watched the credits of movies intensely looking for interesting names that would "fit" our child. We made lists that we added to and crossed off of daily.

Recently, when looking to name my photography business the lists started again. One in my journal, one on a big poster board taped next to the kitchen. At first I was upset and aggravated that I just didn't know the name. Then I sat back, laughed at myself and realized that it was a fun process. I got to name a business. My business. From that point on it became an enjoyable process and thanks to Matt and the loads of discussions we had about it, September-Days was born.

The interesting thing about the name September-Days is that it feels like me. More than just the photographer in me. It feels like most if not all of me. I was born in the month of September for one. I've always liked the month. It was the month of new beginnings because it's when school started although that isn't true anymore which I'm still trying to get used to. The list of family members who's birthday is in September is pretty long too. My mom, my niece, my father-in-law, two of my sister-in-laws. My father died in September, in between my mothers and my birthdays. It's the month of the Fall Equinox and usually one of the most beautiful times of year here in California. September holds quite a bit for me.

So when thinking of changing the name of this blog, September-Days was tossed out. I was hesitant at first because I didn't want it to appear that I was just sweeping FMN Design under the rug and giving priority to one business over the other but, really, September-Days just feels right. For now. Who knows. Maybe a few months, years down the road I'll change the name again. To something that is me then. I wouldn't put that past me.

I guess I'm just letting anyone know who cares or reads this blog that the name/address will be changing. Maybe with the next post. I'll do a redirect for sure but if you have it bookmarked you'll need to change it soon.

That's all for now. I'll leave you with a photo that I makes me feel like my new name. It's a photo Mason took of me which makes me love it even more. Hope everyone is having a great week!

Brandon and Jared

Brandon and Jared are like my boys. They are brothers, raised by the same parents, Lisa and Greg. They are raised the same, given the same guidance and yet are completely different. I'm still in awe of how that happens. We really are our own person when we come into this world.

We can be guided, led, even molded a bit but I'm convinced that there is a large part of who we are that is predetermined and just part of our being.

These are boys are wonderful and crazy and all things 8 years old. One's blonde and one's a red head and the differences just keep going from there.

The shoot was a ton of fun, especially since the boys kept me on my toes. They were willing to stand and sit and pose for me. When it was time for a family portrait the entire family had me in stitches. I had asked them to stand and hold hands and when they did I think one of them started moving to relax. Like they were shaking out the uncomfortable feeling they had. I saw that and loved it and asked them to just keep wiggling. All four of them started to wiggle and shake. I was dying but captured some really fun shots.

Lisa, Greg, Brandon and Jared thank you for trusting me to take your family photo's. I hope you love them as much as I do! You guys were a blast and I look forward to the next time.